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Group 1 War Story

This is a war story for the group mamma_fire_bear, ilianadancer and myself are in. It was posted by my GM on the Pyramid Magazine Discussion boards, and reposted here with his permission. It is part of an ongoing storyline spanning back a couple years, and I will try to post (and backdate) earlier chapter as time allows.

War Story: "Sweet Home Alabama"

Here I told I was going to try and get the next war story out more quickly and life dull and dreary gets in the way.

We moved on with the Eternal Flirebird/Under the Dark Fist storyline. Nyx's new ship the Vodoni Nightwolf-class scout got renamed "The Big Black Puppy" and 2 bugbears that were rescued from it were recruited as crew or at least dock watchmen.

The Eternal Firebird then went out to try and backtrack the bad guys using captured star charts. Before long they came upon a Gnomish Sidewheeler that had been rammed and grappled by a red-sort of wolf-ship.

It was around then that a side-discussion involving Nyx the Barbarian clered up that "gnome" is not pronounced "guh-nome". Nyx was indignant"That's how they taught me to sound things out in reading class! I'm going to write them a letter and I hoppe to God they can read it!".

I want to emphasize that this was Nyx (who actually has learned to read during the game) and not Nyx's _player_ and that the recipients of the indignant letter will not be the State Board of Education of any of the US' great states (or even one of its' not so great states). Nope, nothing like that at all.

In the original module this was supposed to be a gnomish masacre survived only by a few children but whoever wrote that didn't understand the role of gnomes in a Spelljammer campaign.

So I altered things to having a puzzled group of werewolves being temporarily held off by a clockwork scrap-iron golem and a pair of viscious Giant Space Hamsters on leashes.

The werewolves were then driven back into their own ship and then just exterminated. Looking upon the damage to the big red wolf-ship it was decided "Ok, _this_ one we sell to the elves!".

Very shortly thereafter a huge Elvish ship which absolutely was _not_ named something that translated into Common as "The Spirit of Going places and Doing Things" de-cloaked and the elves beamed aboard and were dutifully fleeced. Gage had collected the bad guys 50 +1 longswords before this happened of course.

The elves also invited then PCs to something that might as well have been labeled "The Babble Conference" and the gnomes were given a tow. See, one of their hamster wheels had been wrecked and that meant that they couldn't wind up the big rubber band and...

...anyway the grand conference started. There were representatives of every major power in wildspace and then some. The mind flayers were all dressed up and pretending that they didn't eat brains. The dwarves were beating on the table with axes. The elves were preaching patience, the gnomes were building something that fell apart frequently.

The various beholder groups were trying to gnaw off each others eyestalks more than talking. The neogi "ambassador" was under heavy guard and the groundling humans would have been hiding under the table except that's where the neogi's pet umber hulk was located.

Into this chaos came the PCs. Aldehar was levitating. Gage was wearing her magic sword Kingmaker and all of the best stuff from her bags of holding. Nyx was looming and griping about why did she have to be there. Brother Hugh and Bennu were looking at everything calmly and Bob the Half-Orc Food Mage was there to handle the group's lunch. Most of the ambassadorial groups broght their own refreshments. The mind flayers in particular insisted upon it.

So. Everybody talked a lot, except for the beholders who got hosed down a couple of times when their internal difficulties got out of hand. It ended up as tie between the groups who wanted to send spies to spy on the Vodoni and the ones who wanted to send ambassadors to spy on the Vodoni.

It was up to the party to break the tie. Gage spoke for the group of course ("King!") and being surpisingly straightforward for someone who lurks a lot and re-distributes other beings' wealth at every opportunity she spoke in favor of having the group do a recon mission in the Big Black Puppy.

Nyx had to be quietly appeased. She was saying "Hey! That's my ship you're going off with!". We promised her that she'd get to captain it and she'd get to kill lots more werewolves.

The Prince of Bral rose and said "Gage, King of Rogues has spoken with much wisdom." Aldehar and Gage almost bit their own tongues off trying not to laugh. Nyx was still grumbling and Brother Hugh knows the truth when he hears it. Bennu and Bob kept their own council as usual.

So we're off to see the Vodoni next time and all I have to do is decide exactly how goofy to make the voyage.

Life is Good (even if you have to bring your own lunch sometimes).



July 2008

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